If you want to get all New Age-y about it, then perhaps my extreme desire for balance in my life comes from the fact that I'm a Libra. It probably has more to do with the fact that I'm prone to fairly extreme swings in mood and personality. It also probably has something to do with the fact that I need a lot of time alone (or with just Nicole) in order to properly function among others.
Whatever the reason, the last nine months of my life have been off balance. I have become something of an extension of Nicole, or at least an extension of her life. We moved to Northern California, where the majority of her family lives. We even live in the house she grew up in. I've tried to take this all in stride, even if it has been, at times, overwhelming.
There are a few things that I considered to be essential to who I am. One of those things is books. I have a lot of books. I'm always buying books, even if I have books I still haven't read yet. I like having them. I don't eat comfort food. Food, to me, is a necessity, nothing more. Sure, I do, sometimes, partake of comfort drinking. But more than anything, I buy books.
Nicole has kind of turned a blind eye to my buying habits over these nine months. She is well aware of my need for balance -- it's something she believes in herself. And she knows that being here, away from the things and people that I know, I'm going to take comfort in the pages of literary journals, books, and comics.
I've taken full advantage of this blind eye. Don't get me wrong, I really don't spend that much money on books, but I would hazard to guess that, even though I've cut back on the number of comics I buy, I'm probably operating above my norm.
But I think I'm reaching the breaking point. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of shelf space, but I'm starting to feel buried under the weight of the books that I own, but haven't read.
I'm also going through a period where I want some order in my life.
Strangely enough, this actually started with the food in our freezer. It's packed full and never seems to clear out, basically because we keep filling it up even though we don't empty it. My first step was organizing it. The second step is eating all the freaking food before buying any more.
Which is what I've finally decided to do with books (and, to a certain extent, video games). It's time for my irregular organization, when I make a list of all the books I own that I've yet to read and, of course, stop buying any new ones.
It's time to put a hold on retail therapy and hope that enjoying what I already have in front of me is enough.
Which is a pretty big statement to make.